Hello, adoring fans of Bamboo Nation! It's an honor and a privilege and a pleasure to be here. I feel as giddy as when I first met Pork Chop!
As Prince has said, I will be providing my own "fresh perspective" on videos that he wants you to see. I'm not sure he realizes how I prefer to define "fresh," so I'm just gonna go with it.
To begin this chapter of our Bamboo Nation journey, Prince has selected three videos and given me free rein to blog about them in any order I choose. (Whoa. The power!)
Okay. So, let me be the first to break it to you. Only one of these three videos contains a hot, half-naked man. (Hello, Prince? Now that I'm contributing to your blog, maybe you could find a little time to dig up some more of those XXX-rated videos, okay? That is The Plan, right? I mean...I'm not saying we have to turn Bamboo Nation into a porn site, but...uh...umm...even if Bamboo Nation were to become a porn site, would that be so bad? That's all I'm saying. Think about it.)
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Obviously, I've decided to start with this sneak peak of New Moon, because, let's face it, it contains TWO HOT SHIRTLESS MEN! (And for you straight guys in the audience: a.) You should probably know that I am wearing a very low-cut little dress as I write this, and b.) What's sexier than listening to a bunch of sexed-up girls struggle to breathe as they endure male hotness on the [VERY] big screen? I mean, besides imagining me in my hot little dress?)
Here's what I know about New Moon: the girl who plays Bella gave a fab performance in Sean Penn's Into the Wild, and she's dating Michael Angerano and he is pretty cute and an amazing young actor. Other than that: uh, I guess it is the sequel to a little movie called Twilight...?
I've heard about Twilight, of course. I knew that Robert Pattinson was in it, and Prince blogged (right here) about his hotness, but still I didn't go see it. A five-year-old girl offered to let me borrow her copy when it came out on DVD, but, nope, Robert Pattinson didn't seem super sexy. Ya know? It might've been the hair. Or my undying loyalty to Zac Efron. But...now? Now that I've seen this sneak peek? Excuse me, Ms. Five-Year-Old Girl? I'll be over in two minutes!
There's also another dude. I have no idea who he is, but he takes his shirt off first and: !!! [Prince's Note: That's Taylor Lautner, FYI. Or shall I call him "Taylor HOT-ner?!"]
Just: brace yourselves. Watch: