"We Touch All the Time, so Why Not Be the Best at It?"

Posted by Soleil McNeill
ON Friday, August 28, 2009
If you're so dumb you don't know how to pet a cat, fear not! Petting is passé, people! Your cat wants a massage! (Right, Pork Chop?) This highly enlightening instructional video includes numerous mind-blowing tips such as: "If you're right-handed, use your right hand. Left-handers, use left. Or, if you're right-handed, try using your left, and vice versa." Of course, there's also plenty of innuendo for anyone bold enough to read between the lines: "Remember, you can't fool drool! Mmmm!!!" And: "You don't need a swimming pool for this breast-stroking!" Don't worry, it gets worse. At 2:30, she grabs the cat's tail like it's a...you know what...oh, God, just WATCH:

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  1. AJPatter Said,

    Words fail me


  2. what drugs is that cat on? I want some.


  3. Heh, the cat? What drug is this woman on?


  4. Her singing Simon & Garfunkel at 0:52 and then saying that it taught her a lot about life and cat massage is my favorite. Ha ha ha ha ha!


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