Contest Winners!; or: This Guy Should Seriously Buy a Lottery Ticket

When I randomly selected the winning name for the recent Final Destination contest, I once again coincidentally chose "John!" This marks his eerie third win in a row—but he was suffering from so much winner's guilt from the first two contest wins that he's willing to forfeit this third prize. Seriously, John, you're on a crazy streak and should buy some lottery tickets or go to Atlantic City or buy a whore on Craigslist or something.

Anyway, the DVD will now go to..."William." Congratulations! William, e-mail me your mailing address to receive your prize.

Also, congratulations to "ML," who won a pair of tickets in the Ye Olde Cock & Balls contest.

Yay! Free, free, free!


  1. Sigh. If only real life were like a Bamboo Nation contest. Maybe then I wouldn't be living in a van down by the river.

  2. Congrats John. I am happy you won for a third time in a row. I believe you are one lucky SOB and I think you should buy me a lottery ticket. Please.

  3. Congrats William that was nice of John to forfeit his prize.

  4. Superbadfriend, I'd gladly hook you up with a lottery ticket or three but my luck is limited to Bamboo Nation contests (ref. living in a van down by the river). And I kind of have a gambling problem. It always starts off small with an innocent looking $1 scratch ticket at the 7-Eleven while picking up a case of Mickey's and a pack of Kool's. Next thing you know, I've burned thru my life savings again and I'm giving handjobs for Powerball tickets. It's a slippery slope.

  5. Ha! That's funny, John. Plus, you gave me a title for a new play: "Handjobs for Powerball Tickets."

  6. Sorry Prince. Handjobs for Powerball Tickets (registered trademark) has already been optioned by Universal with Judd Apatow and Paul Rudd attached. Leslie Mann is rumored to play a corrupt lottery official and there may be a gratuitous Jonah Hill nude scene (fingers crossed!). It should be a hoot.