When I randomly selected the winning name for the recent Final Destination contest, I once again coincidentally chose "John!" This marks his eerie third win in a row—but he was suffering from so much winner's guilt from the first two contest wins that he's willing to forfeit this third prize. Seriously, John, you're on a crazy streak and should buy some lottery tickets or go to Atlantic City or buy a whore on Craigslist or something.
Anyway, the DVD will now go to..."William." Congratulations! William, e-mail me your mailing address to receive your prize.
Also, congratulations to "ML," who won a pair of tickets in the Ye Olde Cock & Balls contest.
Yay! Free, free, free!