Weezer's Secret Show Was a Secret (but I Know Secrets You Don't Know)

Is it better to be smart or kind?

If I were smart, I would have attended Monday's secret Weezer show accompanied by a hot Asian chick. Because Rivers Cuomo's hetero Asiaphilia knows no bounds, bringing a hot Asian chick most certainly would've guaranteed me backstage access to see the band and crumble in its presence. Pimping out a hot Asian chick is such a small moral price to pay.

Instead, I was kind. I invited Will because friends invite friends to secret concerts (I'm on Weezer's not-so-secret mailing list), even though Will is a tall white guy, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what I needed to get backstage.

The show, which will be on Yahoo! Music this Friday, was fucking awesome. No. Seriously. Fucking. Awesome. As you may know, Weezer normally plays stadiums and big venues like that. But this concert was at The Roxy in Hollywood, a comparatively tiny space, which means I was about 15 feet away from the action.

The band walked onto stage wearing white Nike tracksuits (ha ha ha!) and pounded out a short but oh-so-sweet nine-song set (not in this order): "Buddy Holly" from the Blue Album, "Why Bother?" from Pinkerton (hands down my favorite Weezer album), "Hash Pipe" from the Green Album, "Beverly Hills" from Make Believe, "Pork and Beans" from the Red Album; "(If You're Wondering if I Want You to) I Want You to" and "I'm Your Daddy" from the upcoming Raditude, which will be released on October 27, 2009; and covers of Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" and The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Rivers danced crazily as if he were having epileptic fits, smashed a ukulele and distributed the broken pieces to the audience, and jumped up and down on a small trampoline in the middle of the stage. Yup, a hot Asian chick would've loved it, but, in retrospect, I think Will loved it more. And I think that's okay, although I won't know for sure until I complete my cost-benefit analysis of friendship.

Listen to Weezer's new single, "(If You're Wondering if I Want You to) I Want You to." (Click here, and then press the "play" icon.)


  1. I saw them in 1994 right after the blue album came out at a small venue in Atlanta. They opened for The Dambuilders and Lush. Really good show. I even bought a T-shirt from Rivers and Brian afterwards. Simpler times....

  2. Yeah, John, but did you go to the super secret Weezer concert at the Roxy for free? No? That's what I thought.

  3. I kind of hate you right now.

  4. I easily combat your hate with my superiority.

  5. How can it be a secret show if the venue says WEEZER across the outside of the venue?