Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate

Oh my freaking Christ. And I thought the first one was bad (motherfucker glitters in the sun!). The new one is even worse. Don't even try to argue with me. You know why? You and your movies have zero credibility. You know why you and your movies have zero credibility? Because motherfucker...glitters...in the sun! Shut up. I'm done here.


  1. Sterling12/01/2009

    I don't know how he can glitter through all that nasty chest hair...and on another note, Taylor Lautner glistens in the rain, with his delicious muscles all out for our viewing pleasure. Surely that mitigates your displeasure somewhat, Prince.

  2. Ha! On a directorial level, New Moon is a much better film, it looks like an actual movie and has something vaguely approaching an aesthetic, while the first one mistook blue color correction for a look and for some reason mistakenly thought that the best thing to do when you have a gorgeous pacific northwest location is to make it look like shit.

    But man, what a terrible movie! It's just people standing around deliberating for two hours and then twenty minutes of action. Only Michael Sheen realizes that he's in a gothic bodice ripper. Robert Pattinson delivers every line like he's being slowly pegged. Taylor Lautner devliers every line like he's masturbating. Kristen STewart thinks she's in a Noah Baumbach movie. The only two characters who seem like characters are Graham Greene and the dad. Urg!

    And don't get me started on the truly fucked up racial politics.

  3. You practically worship the Muppets but you can hate on this??! Muppets glitter, too, you know.
    'member that sweet lil' kitty Muppet called "Little Murray Sparkles?"

  4. Sterling and Isaac, ha ha ha, I knew my boys would agree. These movies are proof that, even though The Gays like most of the things 13-year-old girls like, The Gays do not like all of the things 13-year-old girls like.

    Sterling, the thing about Lautner's glistening muscles is that I can easily gaze at those online without having to sit through that movie. Not worth it.

    Isaac, you're right. It's like watching a 13-year-old's idea of Chekhov.

    Peter, aren't I allowed to hate every once in a while?

  5. What is the matter with all of you?

    Cool people don't watch New Moon or Muppets, they watch Yo Gaba Gaba!

    But, don't take it from me -- take it from Mike in a year. Then I guarantee you'll be hearing more about how great Yo Gaba Gaba is.

  6. PS. I can't stomach paying good money for this, even WITH a daughter who is about to turn 13.

    If she wants to go, she'll have get a job and take herself. It just all looks so insultingly predictable.

  7. Ah, I just noticed that it was not "gay" Isaac that posted, but another Isaac, the infamous Isaac Butler! Which just reinforces the fact that no man, gay or straight, likes these movies.