I know, I know, we get only one guest blog per weekend, but, Prince, it's Halloween! Consider this a "bonus video" for Bamboo Nation, courtesy of The Onion. Watch:



[Louise Larsen also blogs at Louise on the Left.]

Hey, this is the kind of news I'm talking about! Clearly, local news in Omaha, Nebraska, is a lot more fun there than here in Southern California. Watch:



Happy Halloween!

[Louise Larsen also blogs at Louise on the Left.]

Louise on the Left bought Pork Chop a Halloween costume. And for the first time in his entire life, he hissed—HISSED!—at me while I was trying to put it on him. I dodged a few claws and somehow managed to get him to wear it—if only for a minute:






Louise also provided a lovely wig, but I'm going to have to try putting that on him another day when he's not so pissed at me.

This spoof of Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are is so damn funny because, oh, the truth hurts. Watch:

[Read Part 1 and Part 2.]



Levi Johnston's latest Twitter post:

CONFIRMATION: It looks like the shoot will be all nude after all.. ..! But in a tasteful matter (who remembers Austin powers ending part I)

Oh, glorious day!

You know when you're jumping up and down on your bed and lip-syncing to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" and you grab a hair brush to use as a makeshift microphone to complete your vision of wild abandon? Well, do you know how passe hair brushes are? Next time, get hold of the nearest semi-erect penis and pretend-sing to your heart's content!

I got this idea in my head after receiving an e-mail from Bamboo Nation reader John H. (the guy who's won every single BN contest he's officially entered):

Lately, I've been enjoying SF band Girls new album appropriately titled Album. Lots of jangly guitars and one track that sounds exactly like a lost My Bloody Valentine track. Pitchfork actually gave it a good review which never happens. Here's a link to a video for their song "Lust for Life."

But he also provided a link to the triple-X version, complete with body parts you're not supposed to see, like penis-microphones and boobies.

Hey...wait a minute.... Why are those guys on the same bed together? And why are those girls on the same bed together? Is something queer going on here?! Do straight men not hang out in their underwear together and sing into each other's penises? Watch the probably not safe for work music video:

[Read Part 1.]

In the second part of the Early Show interview with Levi Johnston, we are treated to shots of him working out in the gym (hallelujah!), as he preps for his "tasteful" Playgirl shoot. But still no definitive answer on whether or not he will go full frontal. He does manage to dig in to Sarah Palin some more, and CBS reads a statement from her in retaliation. Oh, salacious Thursday! Watch:



However, TMZ reports:

We've confirmed Levi Johnston plans to come out swinging -- the famous Palin-impaler is gonna go the full monty for Playgirl.

Levi's manager already said he was 90% sure the teen baby daddy would take it all off for the adult rag -- but now comes the confirmation ... in the form of the greatest statement ever:

"Everything's gonna hang out. We're talking full johnson."

His manager tells us Levi's gunning to shoot the nudie pics on November 16th ... the same day Sarah Palin makes her Oprah debut.

A Playgirl rep tells us of the shoot: "We're working on some athletic scene stuff for Levi: gyms, rinks -- that sort of thing."

But once again, Levi Twitters:

there's been a lot of rumours whether I'll go fulll frontal as of late... I repeat ===its NOT CONFIRM. ( not yet ) I will let ya guys know

What a freaking cocktease!

The hype surrounding Michael Jackson's This Is It has been so huge that even a casual fan such as myself bought tickets literally the minute they became available a month ago. I can be a slave to buzz. ("Buzz, you want me to bend over and take it like a man...? Okay!") That's good news for my friends, who are way bigger Michael Jackson fans than I.

This Is It is not a biography—no history, no backstory, and little context is to be found. This Is It is not maudlin—the craziness surrounding the King of Pop's death never comes into play, and tribute interviews have no place here. This Is It is not a freakshow—though you get a taste of some of Jackson's eccentricities, his most bizarre behavior and the scandals he's been embroiled in are not seen or mentioned. Very simply, This Is It is a concert film. A concert film full of showstoppers. And it's unlike any concert film I have ever seen.

The performances here—of Jackson's greatest hits—are a patchwork of rehearsal footage, capturing the entertainer preparing for his sold-out concerts in London, which of course never came to be. What audiences are treated to is a rare glimpse into Jackson's creative process—indeed, there is occasional stopping and starting in between songs, as Jackson and his collaborators work through the show. These breaks underscore Jackson's perfectionism and highlight his intense involvement in and deep knowledge of every aspect of the production, a production that looks like it intended to be pretty much the greatest concert of all time.

If you don't like Michael Jackson's music at all, you're going to suffer through this movie. But even if you're a fair-weather fan like me, I'm sure you'll be impressed at how, at 50-years-old and in rehearsal mode (in which he's not always at 100%), Jackson is still able to deliver the voice and the dance moves that will thrill you, stir your soul, and sometimes make your jaw drop.

This Is It is not only a remarkable testament to Michael Jackson's talent, but, thanks to the smart assembly of footage by director Kenny Ortega (who helped the High School Musical franchise take over the universe), This Is It is a film that gets you thinking about artists and the act of creation, about the nature of collaboration, about the dedication it takes to hone one's craft, and, yes, about mortality. But, again, it's not melancholy. It's a celebration. And some of these musical numbers will absolutely floor you.

"No, Prince, no, there can't possibly be a video of a baby elephant that dances and plays the harmonica at the same time. It simply cannot happen!" Well, dear readers, in Thailand anything is possible! Watch:

Yup, I'm going tonight!

Hee-hee! Sham on!

There's been a lot of back and forth about whether or not Levi Johnston will reveal his man-spear in Playgirl or if he will chicken out and go with "tasteful" shots of his crotch area obscured by a bag of plums. People reports that full-frontal Levi is 90% sure, but Levi himself says on his Twitter feed, "IT's not confirm whether the shot will be full monty or not.. don't believe the hype...."

Well, I didn't get any definitive answers from Levi's Early Show interview this morning. He just repeated some of the salacious things he told Vanity Fair—like how Sarah Palin would often refer to her Down Syndrome baby by saying, "Where's my retarded baby?," around the house. Watch:



The rest of the interview will run Thursday, so maybe I'll have more substantial Levi Johnston/Playgirl news then.

In the comment section of Bamboo Nation's latest contest, an anonymous reader prayed with all his/her might that Will or Donovan would win the prize—a one-year subscription to GQ—presumably because the anonymous reader was sure that Will and Donovan were the two blog followers—out of hundreds, thousands even!—who most needed monthly fashion consultation.

Well, I randomly selected a name after throwing pieces of paper in a Nordstrom Rack bag, and the winner is...Jake! Will and Donovan are the unfortunate losers, but, through some stroke of pre-destiny, Jake happens to be Will's housemate and Donovan lives close by. The trio will now be able to read GQ together—in a cold, heterosexual fashion (even though Donovan didn't even enter the contest).

As for the other entrants, thanks for playing, but you all already look fabulous! (I stalk you on Facebook almost every day, so I know.)

After reading "10 Things I Love About David Bowie" on Howard Who?, I began to think about what my favorite David Bowie songs are. To make it really difficult, I forced myself to narrow my list down to just five songs. (No connoisseur like a discerning connoisseur.) Yes, if my MP3 player only allotted for five Bowie tracks, these would be them (in chronological order):

"Five Years" from The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972). The opening track is an aching lament about an impending apocalypse. Bowie yelps about "all the fat-skinny people," "all the tall-short people," and "all the nobody people"—but he's not complaining about them, as we would expect. He finally admits: "I never thought I'd need so many people." Watch him perform the song with Arcade Fire (seriously!):



"Young Americans" from Young Americans (1975). It's a song about sex, and it's a freaking masterpiece. And, oh my god, did you know he once did a duet of "Young Americans" as part of a medley with Cher?! Watch:



"Sound and Vision" from Low (1977). Yup, it's got a good beat, and you can dance to it. Watch this funky live performance from the Sound+Vision Tour in 1990:



"Absolute Beginners" from Absolute Beginners: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1986). I never really liked the movie, but its theme song is a luscious pop ballad. Watch the music video:



"Underground" from Labyrinth: From The Original Soundtrack Of The Jim Henson Film (1986). Believe it or not, I didn't really start getting into Bowie and his back catalog until after I saw him (and his magical bulge) in Labyrinth, which still holds up today as one of my favorite movies of all time. Sure, I could've chosen the obvious crowd fav, "Magic Dance" ("You remind me of a babe"), but there's something about the gospel choir in "Underground" that lifts my spirits. Watch the original music video:



All right, folks! What are your David Bowie favorites? You can only have five! Not ten! Five! See? It's hard, isn't it, narrowing down the best of the best? I trust you will do a good job.

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.



Read "Bend (Over) It Like Beckham."

Pork Chop would slap that food bowl right out her goddamn hands. Watch:



[Thanks to Will Blank.]

As you may recall, last week I moderated a panel discussion with playwrights Julia Cho and Elizabeth Wong. With my ability to probe deeply, laughter was had and tears were shed. I felt like I was channeling Oprah, and I finally got to officially meet two powerhouses in Asian-American theater. The ladies tried to turn the tables at one point and redirected a question right back at me—"What about you, Prince?!—but I managed to dodge it the way Pork Chop dodges vegetables. Anyway, it was a fun and fascinating discussion, and, if we're lucky, I'll be able to obtain the audio of it and share it with you. Otherwise, you'll have to take my word for it.

[Thanks to Howard Ho for the above photo of Julia, Elizabeth, and me.]

Three cats fight over a piece of raw meat by playing a makeshift game of tug of war. Considering that's all that really happens in this video, I'm surprised that it goes on for more than four minutes. If you watch it all the way through, you'll throw up your hands in frustration. (It's like waiting for monkeys to throw their poop at the zoo, but then they never do no matter how long you stare through the bars.) But if you move ahead by clicking on random points in the video, like I did, you'll find fun moments that give the illusion that some serious smackdown action is going on. Watch:



Wait. Are you supposed to feed your cats hunks of raw beef?

[Thanks to Superbadfriend.]

Is this an adorable ad for Evian? Or is it a trailer for what is sure to be the most terrifying horror movie ever made? Watch:



[Thanks to Superbadfriend.]

[This post is part of a continuing series about fancy Hollywood parties that I have somehow managed to infiltrate.]

Before heading off to the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center 38th Anniversary Gala & Auction on Saturday, where comedian Wanda Sykes and drag queen Miss Coco Peru were being honored (and where I would eventually spend the evening gazing longingly at the back of Zachary Quinto's head), I went to Nordstrom Rack to find a new tie to go with my black Sergio Valentino pinstripe suit. Shopping at a discount retailer like Nordstrom Rack (which stocks the parent company's hand-me-downs) for accessories to a fine Italian suit is its own kind of sacrilege—but I have told you time and again that my Chinese blood compels me to sniff out bargains no matter who or what I might be desecrating.

After rejecting what seemed like hundreds of ties, it came down to two blue ones manufactured by English Laundry. One featured a cartoon Buddha stitched smack dab in the middle of the solid blue; the other featured Chinese language characters. After I wrote an emergency Facebook status update on my mobile phone ("SOS! Can any of you read Chinese?"), Ewan came to the rescue by calling me after I transmitted a photo of the tie in question to him.

PRINCE: What does it say?

EWAN: Blood sausage.

PRINCE: Uh...what?

EWAN: It's not written very well, but it says BLOOD SAUSAGE.

PRINCE: This is the perfect tie for this event!

Here is a picture of Pork Chop modeling the tie:



Some notes from the evening:

• Chelsea Handler hosted.

• American Airlines won the Corporate Vision Award. Bruce Vilanch wrote a really funny video that showed why the company was being re-branded as "Air Fabulous."

• Young leaders in the LGBT movement in China spoke about how the Center was helping them organize in their home country.

• Amber Riley from Glee performed after Jane Lynch, via video, introduced her and expressed how much she hated Amber for being so damn young and talented.

• The Center's Forever Young Chorale showcased seniors doing (questionable) renditions of pop songs like The Human League's "Don't You Want Me?"

• Zachary Quinto, who sat the the table next to mine, presented his friend Miss Coco Peru (drag performer Clinton Leupp, who you may remember from Trick: "You ever get cum in your eye, Gabriel...? It buuuuuuuuuurns!") with the Board of Directors Award.

• Jay Leno presented Wanda Sykes with the Rand Schrader Distinguished Achievement Award.

Aside from the fabulous dinner and dessert at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles and aside from the fact that Loren and I won the pop art that we bid on (to support the Center and to pretend that we understand pop art), there were several highlights:

• The Center's CEO, Lorri L. Jean, gave a passionate, rousing, angry, and hopeful speech that truly made me want to get more involved with the Center and its activities.

• The two young Chinese organizers may have butchered English in their speeches to the crowd, but they brought me to tears with their deep desire to bring about change in their country. (When the woman declared, "I am a lesbian! I am a lesbian!," I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming back, "You go, girl!")

• I have a newfound respect for Jay Leno. I've never been a fan of his show or his comedy, but he displayed a level of self-awareness that I never suspected he had. He knows how "Middle America" his humor is, and he knows who his audience isn't—it was a sort of odd, humble, almost-sad admission of his place in the world, despite the fact that he's sitting on top of a media empire. He also mentioned that on his show he's made jokes at the expense of gays (everyone's equal opportunity in comedy), when it comes to fashion and such, but he has never made light of the necessity for equality, and he definitively vocalized his support for same-sex marriage and for gays serving openly in the military (which he has, apparently, vocalized before). I got choked up a bit.

• And Wanda Sykes was so goddamn funny she made me cry. While she was a vocal opponent of the passage of California's Proposition 8, Sykes has only been out, publicly, for about a year. After she accepted the award, she said that she felt like President Obama accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. "What the hell have I done?!" she quipped. She also wished that the right-wingers would shut up and go away: "Put them in a balloon!" She then imagined a hilarious scenario of Rick Warren trapped and flying around out of control in a big silver helium aircraft.

No one asked me about my tie. For the love of god, queens, take our eyes off Zachary Quinto for one damn second and notice the other fabulously dressed people around you!



[Crossposted on The Bilerico Project.]

Yes, the title of this post is a lame attempt at a pun based on a Noah Baumbach movie—lame because I couldn't find something to rhyme with the word "whale" that made sense in the context of what you are about to see. It's a Thai commercial for Dentyne gum—clever, sure, but borderline creepy (and perhaps inappropriately suggestive?). Watch:



Oh, the things that would fall out of my mouth if this actually happened in real life....

[Thanks to Donovan Keith.]

Photo by Aaron Lee Fineman
(click to enlarge)

This photograph is from the Easter dinner that we had with our friends this year. Some may say that it's sick and twisted to eat rabbit on Easter. To me it seems to make sens—besides, they are very tasty, and, if you ever had two as pets, you know they multiply faster than gremlins.

And if anyone reads Mandarin and cares to know more about the woman in the photograph, her name is Yufei and she is studying to be a pastry chef. And she has a blog about her culinary adventures.

[For more work by Aaron Lee Fineman, visit www.aaronleefineman.com.]

(A theater event at a restaurant. PRINCE and HOWARD greet.)

PRINCE: Howard, I'm glad you're blogging regularly again.

HOWARD: Really?

PRINCE: You wrote a great post the other day, "The Snobbery of Omission."

(HOWARD smiles.)

HOWARD: Thanks!

PRINCE: I almost linked to it on my blog, but I was too lazy.

(HOWARD continues smiling, but it's through his angry teeth.)

#

...Okay, okay, fine, I'll stop being lazy, and tell you to read some of Howard's recent work. I guess I feel guilty for promoting Levi Johnston so much and ignoring everybody else. (Can you blame me?)

Read "The Snobbery of Omission."

Read "10 Things I Love About David Bowie."

Read the whole damn blog.

Mr. Bucket is a kids' toy. Mr. Bucket wants your balls. Watch:

The other day I got a call from my friend Prince, a shut-in playwright of questionable moral fiber. I answered the phone and reluctantly obliged a request to drop something off at his house.

I knocked on his door and saw two beady eyes appear through the grating. The tiny window shut as abruptly as it opened, and I heard a dozen or so locks click and snap until Prince finally appeared in the doorway to let me in. The apartment smelled of seafood and...bleach.

"Here are those pictures of Jake sleeping you asked for. I don't really understand why you wanted...." Without acknowledging me, he snatched the disc out of my hands and disappeared behind the velvety red curtain that led to his den of sin and blogging.

Standing there amongst crudely hand-painted portraits of Zac Efron and Levi Johnston, I noticed a mind-boggling number of cat toys and the words "Pork Chop" sprawled in crayon across the wall. I deduced that it must be the name of his beloved feline. Unsure when Prince was going to return and unwilling to spend any more time in his hovel than absolutely necessary, I made my way for the door. But before I could reach for the handle, a rotund cat appeared before me. Our eyes met.

"Hey there, little guy," I said. But Pork Chop just looked at me.

The way Pork Chop stared was unlike any cat had ever stared at me before. I saw something intangible, something beautiful. Akin to the "Afghan Girl" or the Mona Lisa. In the depths of Pork Chop's pale green eyes I saw sadness, strength...and love.

"Take me away with you," Pork Chop said.

"I can't," I stammered.

"No. You won't."

I lowered my eyes, taken aback by Pork Chop's boldness.

"Don't be like that.... You don't know how much I...care." Almost immediately after I said it, I regretted it. How could I open myself, my heart, to this cat so soon? I wasn't entirely sure, but I swear I saw him smile.

Then Prince awkwardly stumbled into the room, ruining the moment.

"I see you two are getting well acquainted!"

I cringed at Prince's bumbling sniffle-snorting laughter. But I knew he could never understand what he had just interrupted—the beauty of such a pure connection was simply beyond him. The moment passed. Pork Chop meowed and with a flick of his tail...was gone.

Prince and I had absolutely nothing to say to one another, so, after a moment of silence and three solicitations for Diet Coke, I could no longer take it and left.

But as I rounded the corner, I couldn't help but feel eyes on my back. I turned to look up and saw Pork Chop sitting in the window. I knew our story wouldn't end there.

[To be continued....]

[Will Blank is a Video Contest Warrior.]

GQ instructs me on how I should dress if I ever really come to care, but it also features great articles on celebrities, true crimes, and politics (I've linked to them before). And now you can continue your hot pursuit to be exactly like me by getting your very own subscription!

THE PRIZE: A one-year subscription to GQ.

THE RULES: Leave a comment—any comment—by Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 11:59 p.m. If you don't have an ID you can sign in with, you can comment anonymously and leave your name or your initials; when I announce the winner, you'll know if you won and all you have to do is e-mail me to claim your prize. One winner will be chosen at random. Anyone in the United States can enter, even those people who have won before.

Hip-hop fans have been greatly anticipating the release of Raekwon the Chef's new album, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Part II. It serves as a follow up to the classic Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, which ushered in a string of imitators in the late 1990s. Despite the 14-year lapse between the two albums, this record is far from an aging artist's attempt at reliving his glory days (remember The Godfather Part III anyone?). Sure Raekwon and the accompanying Wu Tang members have changed with the passing of time, but their skills have been honed and the songs sound fresher than ever. This album is a must have for any die hard Wu Tang fan. Watch:

I just compiled a "best of" list. I'll be updating this page regularly, and you can keep checking back for new stuff by clicking on the "Best of" tab at the top of this blog. I've also grouped together all my High School Musical posts and gay marriage posts in one place, as well as the best stuff I've written on other websites. It's one-stop shopping for all my juiciest bits! (Wait—that kind of came out wrong.)

And away we go (in reverse chronological order)....

The Best of Prince Gomolvilas on Bamboo Nation

Romanian Cinema Is the Worst Thing to Ever Happen to the Romanian Tourism Industry
January 5, 2010
Excerpt: "Man, Romania is a shithole!"

My Name Is Prince, but I Am Not Funky
December 15, 2009
Excerpt: "Earlier this year, I received a series of e-mails from a girl who for some reason thought I was the musician Prince."

Children Make the World a Dangerous Place
November 12, 2009
Excerpt: "If I had my own child, man, I would so be an overprotective mother."

Weezer's Secret Show Was a Secret (but I Know Secrets You Don't Know)
September 22, 2009
Excerpt: "Is it better to be smart or kind? If I were smart, I would have attended Monday's secret Weezer show accompanied by a hot Asian chick."

I Attend Fancy Hollywood Parties...So YOU Don't Have to!: BAFTA/LA 7th Annual TV Tea
September 20, 2009
Excerpt: "If you ever attend a fancy Hollywood party, there are a couple insider laws you should know about: there's The Law of Diminishing Celebrity Returns and The Law of Declining Celebrity Grades."

Captain Jack From Torchwood Seriously Schools Me
July 27, 2009
Excerpt: "As you may know, I often make fun of Loren and his love of the BBC sci-fi series, Torchwood, by calling it 'Dorkwood' and running around the apartment doing an absurd imitation of Captain Jack."

I Destroyed Your Broadway Dream
June 16, 2009
Excerpt: "Longtime readers know that through an unusual set of circumstances I wield so much power over Broadway. And if I were a better person, I would vow to use that power only for good. But I'm not; so I don't."

Verbally Assaulting Ben Lee (Lovingly), and Apologies to Abbie Hoffman
May 6, 2009
Excerpt: "After watching Ben Lee's spirited, high-energy performance from the edge of the stage at The Troubadour in West Hollywood last week, I was the first fan to verbally assault him (I use the term 'verbally assault' lovingly) in the bar after the show."

Double Entendres at Hooters via Matthew McConaughey's Crotch
May 4, 2009
Excerpt: "After watching Matthew McConaughey draw attention to his crotch at a taping of Jimmy Kimmel Live! (he was innocently showing off his belt buckle) in Hollywood last week, Will and his friend B. convinced me to go to the nearby Hooters with them, despite the fact that the food there tastes like dry rot and boobies do not make my world go round."

I Begged for It, and They Gave It to Me!
February 26, 2009
Excerpt: "There's a commercial for Danmer Custom Shutters that makes me laugh every time I see it on TV."

My Black Levels Are Better Than Your Black Levels, Part 2: The My-Oscar-After-Party-Is-Better-Than-Your-Oscar-After-Party Edition
February 24, 2009
Excerpt: "Loren and I were at the Academy Awards screening and after-party hosted by Fox Searchlight at the One Sunset in West Hollywood. We were there for a few hours before we got a series of text messages and phone calls from Gabriel."

My Black Levels Are Better Than Your Black Levels
February 12, 2009
Excerpt: "When Gabriel walked through my apartment door a couple nights ago after traveling around the world for four months, I exclaimed, 'Hey, you're not old and fat! I thought you would come back old and fat!'"

Frequently Assed Questions: The Official Drake Bell Post
September 6, 2008
Excerpt: "For those of you who have been scouring the Internet for a glimpse of Drake Bell's sausage and meatballs, I can definitively tell you that you are out of luck."

A Fireside Chat With Mike Valentino, Part 1
August 25, 2008
Excerpt: "Yes, this chat really did happen."

I Know What Girls Like
July 7, 2008
Excerpt: "You probably know about the women of the blogosphere who have publicly declared their crushes on me, so it won't surprise you to know that women outside the blogosphere approach me with declarations of swooning as well."

A Place Where Nobody Dared to Go
June 23, 2008
Excerpt: "The moment I walked onto the grounds of the Playboy Mansion, the DJ unwittingly started playing 'Xanadu.'"

Ooh, Heaven Is a Place on Earth
May 2, 2008
Excerpt: "The moment I stepped onto the premises of The Americana at Brand this afternoon, a $400 million upscale outdoor shopping center and residential development, I started to cry."

Hilarious Moments of Cultural Insensitivity
April 27, 3008
Excerpt: "On Saturday, Loren, Gabriel, and I went to have dinner at a restaurant in Glendale, California, the city in which I live. Before I recount a couple of events from that evening, there is some background information that you must know."

The Most Important Poll in Bamboo Nation History; Plus, Reaching Into My "Blue's Clues" Memory Bank; or Steve vs. Joe
April 16, 2008
Excerpt: "In 2002, I spent a month in Arlington, Virginia, working on the world premiere production of my play, Boyz of All Nationz: The Rise and Fall of a Multi-Ethnic Boy Band. Each morning I would exercise while watching Blue's Clues, a hugely popular Nickelodeon show for preschoolers."

Smarter Than You
December 24, 2007
Excerpt: "Sometimes I go to fancy Hollywood parties, and, when well-paid TV writers find out that I'm a playwright, they almost immediately sink in their chair a bit as the weight of inferiority hangs off their shoulders."

Go-Go? No Go!
December 19, 2007
Excerpt: "I've always wanted to bring a change purse to a strip club."

Race Wars
November 7, 2007
Excerpt: "When Loren and Gabriel started drinking Smirnoff Ice in my apartment the other day, I hurled a series of appropriate insults at them: 'Smirnoff Ice?! What are you—sorority girls? What next—you want me to get you some peach wine coolers? How 'bout after that—you wanna go to Chevy's and order margaritas?'"

White People, She's One of Yours
October 15, 2007
Excerpt: "Bars are way too loud for my sensitive ears and all the sugar from Shirley Temples makes me go up to guys and scream, 'You're a hot piece of ass!'—and sometimes they get offended, especially when they're girls. But a couple weeks ago, my friends convinced me to join them."

Two Stalkers Are Better Than One
August 22, 2007
Excerpt: "Armed with little more than a first name, a location radius, and an Internet connection, you can easily find out everything you could possibly want to know about people you don't know."

Stupid Whore! Dirty Whore! Whore Whore Whore!
August 11, 2007
Excerpt: "As you know, I never engage my critics because all theater critics mothers suck cocks in hell."

Inviting Disaster
August 9, 2007
Excerpt: "A while back, two missionaries knocked on my door and wanted to tell me about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I shook my head like a non-English speaking immigrant and shooed them away."

Neil LaBute and Wayward Field Trips
June 23, 2007
Excerpt: "I'm about to head over to the Regency Academy Cinemas, a second-run independent movie house in Pasadena, to catch 28 Weeks Later. I haven't been to the Academy in a long while, and, in reminiscing about all my good times there in the past, I suddenly remembered a Neil LaBute story far more entertaining than the Neil LaBute story that's been keeping you occupied on my blog."

Neil LaBute Wants to Tell Me Something
June 19, 2007
Excerpt: "I received a personal e-mail from...Neil LaBute!"

Fatter Pig
May 28, 2007
Excerpt: "Seeing Ken argue about theater and politics and the politics of theater (or, rather, Theater), while he was more than adequately soused, reminded me of the recent Neil LaBute diatribe in the Los Angeles Times."

Joey McIntyre, Horny Women, and Me
April 2, 2007
Excerpt: "I know why straight guys go to Joey McIntyre concerts."

The Other "F" Word
June 22, 2006
Excerpt: "Since I was stuck in San Francisco working on The Fabulous Adventures of Captain Queer and spending my days making demands of the design team like, 'We need an Orange-Flavored Cocksicle! Where's the Orange-Flavored Cocksicle! The script calls for an Orange-Flavored Cocksicle!,' I was not able to attend any rehearsals or even opening night of Mysterious Skin at Rude Guerrilla Theater Company in Santa Ana."

The Slap-Slap of Dick
June 21, 2006
Excerpt: "Mysterious Skin has been running in Orange County for the past three weeks. It's an odd place for this very provocative and unblinking piece to find a home—smack in the middle of Conservative California."



The Best of Prince Gomolvilas on High School Musical

High School Musical 3: The Gayest of Them All
October 25, 2008
Excerpt: "I'm happy to report that High School Musical 3: Gradu-Dancin' is so gay that audience members could actually end up bleeding appletinis from their eyes. If HSM is gay and HSM2 is gayer, then HSM3 is certainly the gayest of them all."

Gay Gay Gay Gay Gaaaaaaaaaay; Or, The "Gay" Reclamation Project
on AOL's QueerSighted
October 18, 2007
Excerpt: "Whenever I post something about High School Musical, the world's tweens and teens lash out at me and leave vitriolic comments that are unintentionally hilarious in their utter seriousness, rank naivete, and sheer ferocity. Their anger is born not out of my disdain for HSM (I'm actually a fan and can karaoke to 'Bet on It' like a 13-year-old Filipino girl), but out of a gross misinterpretation of my use of the word 'gay.'"

Obligatory HSM2 Update: Taking Absurdity to New Levels
August 23, 2007
Excerpt: "My unwittingly 'controversial' post, "High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay," over on AOL's QueerSighted blog is propelling absurdity to new, delightful, and frightening extremes."

High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay
on AOL's QueerSighted
August 20, 2007
Excerpt: "Perhaps disturbed by the gay subtext that was pointed out to them by homosexuals with agendas, Disney attempts to butch up High School Musical 2, removing all traces of queer allegory and metaphor and amping up the heterosexual love triangle. Even so, this sequel (which exists in a parallel universe where the high school experience is so watered down that it might as well be clear) is perhaps even gayer than the first movie."

How Gay Is High School Musical?
August 13, 2007
Excerpt: "High School Musical is gay. I don't mean like, 'Dude, that movie's so gay!' I mean, it's literally gay. Let me explain."



The Best of Prince Gomolvilas on Gay Marriage

Why Gay Marriage Is an Asian-American Matter
on Asian Week
November 22, 2008
Excerpt: "When the San Francisco Chronicle ran a Nov. 7 article exploring why Asians were the only ethnic minority to produce a majority of voters against Proposition 8 and its ban of same-sex marriage, a reader commented on the Chronicle's website: 'Why in the world would the Asian-American community ally itself with the gays?'"

'Sleeping' With the 'Enemy'
on The Bilerico Project
November 18, 2008
Excerpt: "After I posted a temperate and somewhat optimistic response to the disappointing news of Proposition 8's passage (which eliminates same-sex marriage in California), a friend of mine e-mailed me, insisting that I tap into my inner righteous indignation."

Sweet. Bitter.
November 5, 2008
Excerpt: "Proposition 8, which aimed to ban same-sex marriage, has passed. But you know what? Despite the fact that I almost titled this post 'Fuck You, California,' I refuse to despair over this for a number of reasons."

An Open Letter to My Gay Friend; or: Gay Marriage Is Not About Marriage
October 15, 2008
Excerpt: "I've been looking over our online chat transcript from last night to see if I was overreacting when I decided to abruptly end our conversation. With the benefit of hindsight, I can say that I acted rationally and, in addition, I am deeply disappointed in you."



The Best of Prince Gomolvilas on Other Websites

The Politics of Comedy: What's Off Limits?; Plus, The Goods Wants You to Laugh at a Hate Crime
on The Bilerico Project
July 15, 2009
Excerpt: "When it comes to comedy by, about, or for the LGBT community, what's off limits? Are there certain topics within the community that should not be touched (AIDS, suicide, etc.)? Is it more about how certain topics are approached (through satire, flat-out mockery, etc.)? Does it depend on who is creating the comedy (a gay comedian, a heterosexual, etc.)? And do your opinions about these things remain the same or change when we start talking about comedy in general? What if the comedy is about race? Or politics? Or children?"

Love It or Hate It, Bruno Will Probably Be the Highest-Grossing 'Gay' Movie of All Time; Plus, What Do YOU Think of Bruno?
on The Bilerico Project
July 12, 2009
Excerpt: "Perhaps you've read some of the wildly mixed reviews for Bruno, but I assure you that a comedy like this one cannot be considered objectively."

Rick Warren Comes Out, Throws Big Gay Circuit Party
on The Bilerico Project
April 1, 2009
Excerpt: "Controversial pastor Rick Warren appears on the cover of this week's People magazine to announce: 'Yes, I'm Gay.'"

The Other Closet
on Asia Pacific Arts
August 8, 2008
Summary: Most Asian American parents panic when their kids choose a life in the arts. Writer/performer Prince Gomolvilas shows you how a healthy dose of secrets and lies has helped him deal with his family.

A Day Without Brandon Patton; or: Dancing Movies Please
on Impact Theatre Splatter
February 18, 2009
Excerpt: "I have seen Brandon Patton for 20 consecutive days, due to rehearsals for and performances of Jukebox Stories: The Case of the Creamy Foam. It's an amount of time long enough that our individual identities have melded into one interchangeable mass of existential confusion."

Gaysian Heroes
on AOL's QueerSighted
October 16, 2007
Summary: Asian-American heroes in the LGBT community, who have increased APA visibility in their own ways.

Chatting With Gay Punks; Plus, Why John Cameron Mitchell Attends Pansy Division Concerts
on AOL's QueerSighted
October 12, 2007
Excerpt: "After leaving last night's raucous Pansy Division concert at Spaceland in Los Angeles, my friend Gabriel insisted that I fulfill my duties as a journalist by going back to interview a band member or two."

The Art of Making Your Ass Look Good in Pants
on Associated Content
May 30, 2006
Summary: Buying tips to help you avoid being the butt of jokes.

In the past I've endured one or two painfully awkward moments during an acting or a scene-study class, but I can honestly say this guy really is crappy. Unfortunately, so is the other actor, the playwright, and the director. Watch:



[Louise Larsen also blogs at Louise on the Left.]

[Thanks to Holy Taco.]

Levi Johnston is in rare form today. He's posting brief and amusing polemics against religion on Twitter. Oh, what would ex-mama Palin think? Ha ha ha ha ha! He began the day by posting stuff in mock ad copy like this:

• Religion - making great world wars since 3000 bc.

• Religion- keeping the whole middle east in the Dark Ages since 600 ad.

• RELIGION - controlling , deluting & dividing the masses since 3000 bc.

• Religion - If you ask questions you're going to HELL ! !

• Religion - Sending GAYS to HELL since 315 ad

• RELIGION :: Screw your so called SCIENCE FACTS !!! when I got my bible that tells me not !

He then started citing Bible passages that command people to do ridiculous things like this:

• If a man marries, & hates wife,can claim she wasn't a virginAND SHE is to be stoned to death at her father's doorstep. deut 22:13

• If a VirGiN is raped in the city & doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." DEUT22:23-24---WTF ????

• You can't go to church if your testicles are damaged or your penis has been cut off. DEUT23:1- SUCKS IF U HAVE TESTICULAR CANCER

• If a man dies childless, his brother rape his wife,If he refuses,the dead man's wife is to loosen his shoe & spit in his face. deut25:5-10

Forget Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. Go Team Levi!

I have several friends who are teachers and ex-teachers in public schools, so I get firsthand accounts of how screwed up our education system is and, even worse, how it's in rapid decline. I could never do what they do. The thought of facing classrooms of 30+ unruly students on a daily basis makes me want to stab myself in the gut with a protractor.

American education as well as issues of adoption, race, parenthood, and marriage are the hot topics that lie at the heart of Ruth McKee's Stray, a new play co-produced by the Black Dahlia Theatre and Chalk Repertory Theatre and running until November 22, 2009, in Los Angeles. But the playwright, who won the 2008 Stanley Drama Award for this script, is thankfully more concerned with exploring the characters who struggle with these issues than with the issues themselves.

I'll have to admit that when the play started I got a little apprehensive. When you present to me what's supposed to be a social drama grounded in naturalism, my knee-jerk response is to shut down because, if I actually wanted to know more about the Important Matters at hand, I would prefer to seek out a documentary or a magazine article about it.

Stray is about a white couple whose newly adopted African child is wreaking havoc upon his teacher and classmates at his Ohio school. Stylistically, the play resembles Rebecca Gilman's controversial Spinning Into Butter, which shows how one black student at a Vermont college has a tremendous effect on the characters who swirl around him. Gilman's sleight of hand (and why I like Butter) is that the audience never sees or hears from the student that the play is about, which reframes the way audiences approach the piece. The big "discovery" for audience members is that Spinning into Butter is less about race relations and more about liberal guilt and hypocrisy.

In similar fashion, we never see or hear from the troubled Ugandan boy at the center of Stray. McKee is more concerned about the relationships between the five main characters whose lives are touched by this child—his father, his mother, his teacher, his principal, his therapist. It's a smart choice. What could've turned out to be—using David Mamet's term—a "problem play" is instead a rich and layered study of characters in crisis. They're all so carefully drawn and layered that I could imagine an entire play being built around any of these people. (It's a feat that filmmaker John Sayles achieves often in his movies.)

While the play's second act doesn't quite crackle as much as the first (McKee is tasked with having to actually deal with the issues at hand, and I personally was less interested in the mechanics and politics of the story, as I mentioned above), this world premiere production does feature strong work by an ensemble of local actors (Angela Bullock, Jennifer Chang, Eileen Galindo, Matt Gaydos, Analeis Lorig) and by a smart production team.

While director Larissa Kokernot has managed to get her terrific cast (Lorig as the mother in doubt is the heartbreaking standout) to find the emotional truth of each scene, she has resisted realism when it comes to guiding Tom Ontiveros's spare set design, with chalk outlines of hopscotch and other abstract shapes covering the stage and running up the walls and swings hanging from the ceiling. I should also mention that Mike Shapiro's clever and driving sound design nimbly covers the play's scene changes.



What starts out as an inquiry into contemporary social problems evolves into a challenging play about the individual sacrifices we all choose to make and why we make them. Are we truly turning the world into a better place—or are we imprisoning ourselves in a kind of personal victimhood that can't be detected when we're so preoccupied with helping others?

[Stray is running through November 22, 2009, at Black Dahlia Theatre in Los Angeles. For more information and tickets, visit Black Dahlia Theatre or Chalk Repertory Theatre.]

When I saw the first frame, I was under the impression that this was a strictly organic occurrence. Now that I've seen the following frames, I'm not so sure that those cute little furballs got up there on their own accord. Watch:



[Michael DeAntonio also blogs at Mike the Bull.]

We speculated last week about how we would feel after we saw Where the Wild Things Are. So now that we've gone to the movie and contemplated it over the weekend like the sophisticated intellectuals that we are, what do we think?

Well, we thought it was awesome. It's unlike any kiddie flick we've seen in a while because it's less about embracing one's wild imagination and more a melancholy meditation on sadness, depression, loneliness, impermanence, and death. Yup, these Wild Things are beyond neurotic—they need to be heavily medicated.

I've read some reviews and other articles that claim that this is a children's movie for adults, as if to warn parents that they should keep their sons and daughters far away. But David Eggers and Spike Jonze's beautiful adaptation (from the super famous Maurice Sendak picture book) has a child's logic to it, and I think kids would get it on a level that adults don't expect them to. I mean, sure, don't bring your three-year-old, but I'm pretty sure that school-age children would dig it.

I'm curious to know if I'm right. I know I have some mother readers—what did your kids think? How young are they? Did they love it? Or did they have to cry themselves to sleep?

Speaking of Levi Johnston, have you heard "Levi Johnston's Blues," written by novelist Nick Hornby and rock star Ben Folds? Listen to Ben Folds's demo of the song (lyrics below):

Woke up this morning, what do I see?
Three thousand cameras, pointed at me
Dude says, "You Levi?" I'm like, "Yes, that's me, sir"
"Well, you've just knocked up the VP nominee's daughter"

So I tell him, "No, you got it wrong, mister,
Already got a girl, and her name's Bristol"
They all laugh and say, "Where you been, sonny?
Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency"

CHORUS
So I say, "Mother-in-law, no, we ain't getting married"
They say, "Soon you will, boy, she just announced it"
I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl's home
Gonna lay down the law, tell her what's going on
I'm a fuckin' redneck, I live to hang out with the boys
Play some hockey, do some fishing, and kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit and do some chillin', I guess
Ya fuck with me, and I'll kick your ass

So we talk and it turns out we don't believe in abortion
And sex outside marriage is against our religion
And when I try to tell them I'm 18-years-old
They say, "Levi, it's too late, you gotta do as you're told"

Photo by Aaron Lee Fineman
(click to enlarge)

This photograph is from a series that I have been working on for the past couple of years photographing change that I find on the street.

[For more work by Aaron Lee Fineman, visit www.aaronleefineman.com.]

In an age where women lie through fake teeth, claiming their fake breasts as real, it's only fitting that they should lie about that last barrier of physical purity. For thousands of years women have been judged, and, rightly so, by their ability to keep their chastity safe from the fleshy tips of male peni. Recently, though, it has become old hat to prevent penetration by these protruding pink monsters. If you lose your virginity, don't worry, there's always the Vagi Virgin!

Okay, the name is made up, but the product is real. I just figured "Artificial Virginity Hymen," descriptive as it is, was a bit dry. So now if one of those slippery little fellas does manage to slide in, it's okay. You can still manage to fool a prospective mate by slipping a few ketchup packets up there. Then when the big night comes, blahow! Add a few more condiments and you've got a concession stand between your legs.

[Michael DeAntonio also blogs at Mike the Bull.]

Because the blogger asked me to ask you to. (Oh, yeah, and she is known unto me.)

Visit Eat Like a Monk.

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.



Read "'Green' Underwear."

I love that Arcade Fire song, "Wake Up," that's featured in the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. I haven't seen the movie yet, and I'm unsure if I'm going to end up loving or hating it (I mean, after all, how did they create an entire movie out of a book that just 10 sentences long?!), but there's a fascinating interview with director Spike Jonze in this month's GQ.

Read "Spike Jonze Will Eat You Up."

And watch the music video for Arcade Fire's "Wake Up":



If I love Where the Wild Things Are, I'll rave about it next week. If I don't, I won't even mention it. That's how things tend to work on this blog—haven't you noticed?

If you love Levi Johnston as much as I do (and how could you not?), you've been following everything he has to say on his Twitter account. Stuff like:

• still not sure whether i'll do full monty - but I think i've said too much already - now can we keep the FAKE LEVI RUMORS to end- goodbye.05

• T-Mobile Sidekicks they are starting 2 suck ass right now. No contacts for 3 straight days now. Not cool

• Watching SNL. Drew Barrymore is hosting. MAN HOW OLD IS SHE LIKE- 40 NOW ?

• Can I get a "" GO TEAM LEVI "" wave going on !!! i'm feeling kinda down

• IS LADY GAGA A MAN ?

• ohh hangovers are a $#%#

But apparently, he's sick of all the Internet trolls who try to bash him. On October 11, 2009, he wrote:

• I will be deleting this account tomorrow- I'm tired of all the hate postings( im not political or in here for a cause just for fun )GOODBYE

Well, it looks like Levi's Twitter account is getting a stay of execution because he hasn't yanked it yet (as of this writing), which means I can continue functioning normally from day to day—at least for now.

I'm sure Levi visits Bamboo Nation from time to time (you know he's got a Google Alert going, just like everyone else), so for him I say, "GO TEAM LEVI!"

You'd better say it too. I don't like it when Levi threatens to keep his love away from me.

And for all you haters, you must read this passionate, astute article: "Levi Johnston Has Earned Every Bit of Fame He’s Received, and the Sooner You Accept That, the Sooner You and I Can Be Friends."