I swear to you—these contests aren't rigged. Even so, after I randomly chose an entry from a plastic bag, dedicated Bamboo Nation reader John has once again emerged as the winner of this blog's latest contest! That means he gets a fabulous 27-issue subscription to Entertainment Weekly, which marks his fourth win.
If I recall correctly, he's been victorious in just about every Bamboo Nation contest he's entered.
Now if only Match.com held a contest, maybe we can stave off his desire to cock-punch douchebags who happen to be with cute girls. (In the comments section, he recently asked, "Why are the cutest girls always with pricks in suits who call you things like 'sport' that you just wanna cock punch?")