Fashion Emergency!, Part 2: Patching Up a Disaster--With YOUR Help

It's been three months since my last fashion emergency, so, all in all, I'm doing pretty well this year when it comes to sartorial peace of mind. I have a new fashion dilemma, though—it's not so much of an emergency, so I have time to consult you, dear readers, for your advice.

Anyway, if you look at the accompanying picture, you will see that I am wearing a very nice Ted Baker blazer, one that fits me so perfectly that I must find a way to salvage the mess I have made of it.

Some months ago, I noticed tiny black smudges on the sleeve. Water didn't help, so I bought one of those emergency stain removers, those little sticks of magic meant to make all the visual pain go away. After testing it out successfully on a hidden piece of fabric on the inside of the blazer, I then rubbed the stain remover on the smudges. Oh, the horror! I wanted to gouge my eyes out at what I saw!

The sleeve now displayed an unsightly orange stain around the original smudges, an orange stain that remains there today. I'm not sure you can really see what I'm talking about from this picture, but look anyway and take my word for it—it's horrible in real life:

The dry cleaning guy told me that the stain would be impossible to remove. He said that one solution was to have the whole blazer dyed, but, because of the blazer's particular fabric, dyeing wouldn't work either. I asked him if I simply had to throw it away. He offered me one final solution.

DRY CLEANING GUY: Put a patch over it.

PRINCE: A patch?


PRINCE: You mean, make it like some retro hipster jacket?


PRINCE: Hmm. Okay. I like your bow tie.


All right, folks, there you have it. The only way to save my Ted Baker blazer is to put a patch over the stain (on the upper sleeve, in the bicep area, where, say, a black armband would go). What patch should it be? What patch will be cool, but won't make me look ridiculous or stupidly ironic or like a douchebag?

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