Literally NONE of my friends wanted to see Step Up 3D with me. I couldn't even entice MY OWN MOTHER to go—and she's so desperate for contact with me that she sends me multiple spam messages per day just to keep in touch. So last night I caught a late screening ALL BY MYSELF. And when I say ALL BY MYSELF, I mean that I was THE ONLY PERSON in the theater.
Well, at least I didn't bug anyone when I LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the parade of unintentionally funny lines ("He has a gambling problem!") and unintentionally funny scenes (the Icee air ballet!) and when I honestly SHED TEARS OF JOY after ALMOST EVERY dance sequence.
You know how much I love dance movies. I mean, I saw Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights IN THE THEATER. I'm not proud. But I'm trying to prove a point.
Anyway, I don't know why they keep trying to build a story around these Step Up sequels—because it's all about the dance numbers. First of all, there's something about the athleticism, artistry, and combustible kinetic energy of dance that hits me on some inexplicable emotional level. When I see people move like that (aggressive dance styles appeal to me most), I get pumped. Secondly, the dance sequences in these Step Up movies are thrilling, compulsively re-watchable, and feature top-notch talent.
In this threequel, I didn't think the multiple credited choreographers could top what can only be described as "the shirtless water-splashing number," but they do. The film climaxes with a preposterously enjoyable light and laser dance and throws in amazingly nimble little kids into the mix.
By the way, here's a little taste of the water dance:
There's also delightfully effective use of in-yo'-face 3-D effects that make me long for Step Up 4-D, which will hopefully dump the whole idea of trying to create a plot and characters and simply propel entertaining dance numbers at us for two hours.
I think the Toronto Star sums it up best: "Step Up 3D is as supremely exhilarating and thoroughly terrible as fans of the series might've expected."
Yes, that's an endorsement. You know why? 'Cuz we're all B-FAB! (Born from a Boombox!)