MY MOM: I getting old, so we should talk about when I die.
PRINCE: We're at dim sum!
MY MOM: I'm putting everything in your name.
PRINCE: Do we really have to do this now?! I'm eating!
MY MOM: Whatever I have left when I die, share with your sister. She gets half; you get half.
PRINCE: I'm giving her 25 percent; I'm keeping 75 percent.
MY MOM: Do not cheat your sister! Or I will come back as a ghost and yell at you!
PRINCE: Fine! Do not haunt me!
MY MOM: And I don't want funeral. Get me cremate. I think it costs something like a thousand dollars.
PRINCE: Can't I just save the money and throw your body in the river?
MY MOM: I want to see Red next week.
PRINCE: Pass me the soy sauce.