The pug in the following video loves the old Batman theme song so much that it becomes an active (if slightly disturbing) participant. Watch:



[Thanks to Brent J.]

The culminating event of my summer storytelling course at USC, Funny but True: An Evening with Shelley Berman, Sandra Tsing Loh, and MPW Student Storytellers is sure to be a memorable night (unless you get so hammered on post-show reception wine that you pass out in your own vomit). I've got hosting duties, which means I've got to temper my ego—with my amazingly humble and disarming charm!

USC College of Letters, Arts & Sciences and the
USC Master of Professional Writing Program present

FUNNY BUT TRUE: AN EVENING WITH SHELLEY BERMAN, SANDRA TSING LOH, AND MPW STUDENT STORYTELLERS

Featuring performances from:

* comedian/actor SHELLEY BERMAN
* writer/performer SANDRA TSING LOH
* MPW student storytellers: Andrea Apuy, Alfred Brown, Greta Enszer, Josh Feldman, Josh Jacobson, Susan Kacvinsky, Hamza Khalil, Erin La Rosa, Jennifer Mitchell, and Krishna Narayanamurti

Followed by a reception.

Shelley Berman's comedy albums earned him three gold records, and he won the first Grammy Award for a non-musical recording. He was the first stand-up comedian to play Carnegie Hall. Since 2002, he has appeared as Larry David's father on Curb Your Enthusiasm, a role for which he received a 2008 Emmy Award nomination. He continues to do film and television work and make personal appearances across the country year-round. He has authored three books, two plays, several TV pilot scripts, and numerous poems. For over twenty years, Shelley taught humor writing in the Master of Professional Writing Program at USC, where he is now a Lecturer Emeritus.
http://www.shelleyberman.com

Sandra Tsing Loh is a writer/performer. Her books include Mother on Fire; A Year in Van Nuys; Aliens in America; Depth Takes a Holiday: Essays From Lesser Los Angeles; and a novel, If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home By Now, which was named by the Los Angeles Times as one of the 100 best fiction books of 1998. Currently, KPCC broadcasts her daily segment, The Loh Down on Science, and her weekly segment, The Loh Life. American Public Media's Marketplace broadcasts her monthly segment, The Loh Down. She is currently a contributing editor for The Atlantic Monthly. She teaches humor writing in the Master of Professional Writing Program at USC.
http://www.sandratsingloh.com

Tuesday, August 10, 2010 @ 7:30PM

University of Southern California
Mark Taper Hall, THH 102
3501 Trousdale Parkway
Los Angeles, California 90089

Admission: Free and open to the Public
Please RSVP by e-mail: mpw@college.usc.edu
Or on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=129207693787721

$8 parking available at USC's Parking Structure X (Gate #3)

For directions and parking information:
http://www.usc.edu/about/visit/upc/driving_directions/admission_center.html

For a USC campus map:
http://www.usc.edu/assets/maps/upc_map.pdf

For more information about USC's Master of Professional Writing Program, visit http://www.usc.edu/mpw.

Speaking of Vampire Weekend (and its still hot lead singer), my other favorite song off their debut album is "Oxford Comma," which boasts a super-cool music video that gives Brian De Palma's long-ass takes a run for their money. (And it's possibly NSFW only because of a few instances of the word "fuck," as in, "Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?") Watch:



The lyrics:

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma
I've seen those English dramas too
They're cruel
So if there's any other way
To spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

Why would you speak to me that way
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma
I climbed to Dharamsala too
I did
I met the highest lama
His accent sounded fine
To me, to me

Check your handbook
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have
Why would you lie about something dumb like that
Why would you lie about anything at all
First the window, then it's to the wall
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

Check your passport
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have
Why would you lie about something dumb like that
Why would you lie about anything at all
First the window, then it's through the wall
Why would you tape my conversations
Show your paintings
At the United Nations
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

By the way, I give a fuck about Oxford commas. Perhaps you've noticed, noticed, and noticed?

In the vein of those unintentionally funny educational videos of the 1950s, The Homosexual Menace is an intentionally funny take on gay panic. This short cartoon mocks stereotypes with queer-filled glee, as well as creates absurd new ones. Watch:



[Cross-posted on The Bilerico Project.]

My stage adaptation of Scott Heim's novel, Mysterious Skin, may be disturbing, but I'm sure it's not nearly as disturbing as haggis. That said, if you're in Scotland this summer or know people who are going to be there, you must direct them to the Fringe, where Skin will be running every single day for nearly a month. I can't be there, but, if a thousand people come to the show, that will make up for it. (It takes a thousand people to make one of me.) Deets, deets, deets:

The Edinburgh Festival Fringe Presents

MYSTERIOUS SKIN

a play by PRINCE GOMOLVILAS
based on the novel by SCOTT HEIM
directed by PETER DARNEY

Brian gets nose bleeds—and blackouts. Neil gets paid for sex—with older men. Alien abductee Avalyn gets lonely—and wants her next close encounter. MYSTERIOUS SKIN is a searing and explicit exploration of sexuality, misguided desire, and the unlikeliest of friendships. As the story unfolds, their parallel lives link to unlock the past.

"Raw. Graphic. Written in fire. Bracing, poignant, and unsettlingly honest."
—San Francisco Chronicle

"Disturbing, forthright, and believable. The drama [is] razor-sharp and lacerating."
—The Advocate

August 4-30, 2010
Every Day @ 1:00 p.m.

Teviot Row House
13 Bristo Square
Edinburgh
EH8 9AJ

Tickets: £7

For more information, visit http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/theatre/mysterious-skin.

Vampire Weekend's rich-boy-indie-rock-meets-African-pop style (dubbed by the band itself as "Upper West Side Soweto") should grate on my nerves (I mean, seriously, doesn't that just sound like it should be horrible?) , but the group's hooks are irresistible. (And it helps that the guys are kind of hot, especially that lead singer—hands off, bitches!)

My favorite track off Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut album is "I Stand Corrected," which I don't believe was ever released as a single. What's up with that, XL Recordings? Don't you have ears?! Listen to the band perform the song live on a French TV show:



The lyrics:

You've been checking on my facts
And I admit I have been lax
In double-screening what I say
It wasn't funny anyway

I stand corrected
I stand corrected

No one cares when you are wrong
But I've been at this far too long
To act like that when we should be
In perfect harmony

I stand corrected
I stand corrected

Lord knows I haven't tried
I'll take my stand
One last time
Forget the protocol
I'll take your hand
Right in mine

I stand corrected
I stand corrected

This expertly edited trailer mash-up is a delight for Inception lovers and haters. Finally, something to unite us all! (There are actually several Inception mash-ups circulating, but I believe this is the best one.) Watch:

After my cryptic dismissal of the widely lauded InDORKtion, I know it's going to take some time to earn back my critical street cred. And offering even faint praise to Angelina Jolie's new action film is not going to return me to people's good graces any faster. But, hey, I know what gives me a boner, and I know what doesn't. (Don't you wish you were filled with that much self-knowledge?)

Not since James McAvoy took assassination orders from a magical loom and blew up a factory using bomb-strapped rats in Wanted has a movie been as preposterously entertaining as Salt. A film with lingering logic problems; old school, Cold War, Mother Russia, nuclear paranoia; and a scene where Angelina Jolie parkours down an elevator shaft should not be as fun and engaging as Salt is—but, goddamn, it is.

I'm not going to recount the plot for you because they already gave everything away in the trailer. (Well, actually, I thought they did, but Salt has plenty of unexpected twists, turns, and delightful surprises.)

While the movie bullet-trains its way from one over-the-top action sequence to another (courtesy of director Phillip Noyce's deft touch and Kurt Wimmer's tight screenplay), it's not exhausting like, say, Transformers 2, is. Salt knows how to deliver the goods and move on. Not only that, it boasts a trio of solid, convincing performances from Jolie; my favorite actor, Liev Schreiber; and the man who defines gravitas, Chiwetel Ejiofor.

And, yup, I'm going to say it: Salt is sweet. Don't argue with me, or I'll go all Angelina Jolie on your ass.

A French bulldog named "Mama" shows its mad DJ skillz by scratching a record to a funky beat. I especially love the animal's slightly perplexed look, as if it were wondering how it came to be possessed by some hip-hop devil. Watch:



[Thanks to Howard Ho.]

Yo, whitey, read this article. (It's actually not satirical, as you would expect here—the writer does a pretty good job of seriously digging into history.)



Read "Ten Facts You May Not Know About Asian-American History."

The following music video looks like it takes place in 1993 America, but I actually think it exists in an alternate reality called Ouch, My Ears! I'll understand it if you feel compelled to stop watching before you reach the end, but do you really want to miss seeing Jan Terri's music-video boyfriend?! Watch:



[Thanks to Scott Heim.]

A mother in Massachusetts recently wrote a couple blog posts about her son's fan mail to actor Aaron Takahashi, who you may recognize from a few commercials or from the world premiere production of Paul Kikuchi's Ixnay. It's an amusing saga that reminds me that I don't get enough fan mail from kids. (I supposed I should stop saying mean things about them.)

Read "A Brush with Hollywood."

Read "A Brush with Hollywood: Take 2."

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.



Read "How Much Stuff Can You Sneak Inside Your Man Hole?"

In May, I wrote an exhaustive deconstruction of the movie, Obsessed, and its singular vision, repeatedly referring to "that scene where Beyonce and that white chick beat the shit out of each other." In June, the MTV movie awards gave its Best Fight honor to...Obsessed, agreeing with me that Beyonce and Ali Larter ratchet up catfight craziness to a whole new level. Well, guess what? You can now view the scene in question right here and right now! Nothing can quite prepare you for this. Watch:



[If this video has been removed, go here.]

[Thanks to Howard Ho.]

Posted without comment. Watch:

You know that I get some pretty weird e-mails, so it's no surprise that I recently got contacted in regard to one of the most popular posts on this blog: the one about the unintentionally hilarious Prayer Cross commercial. (If you check out the comments section, you'll discover people who absolutely don't get why it's so goddamn funny. I mean, the entire Lord's Prayer in a tiny necklace?! C'mon! That's comedy!)

Anyway, I received an e-mail from a group of women in South Africa who really want one, but don't have easy access to buy. While I was initially compelled to respond with a fistful of snark, I'm beginning to take their sincerity to heart:

we life in Pretoria Gauteng south-africa and we looking for the lords prayer cross to pay in south-africa, we are ± 4 ladys who wants to pay it . I had shaw that on the internet but we can not pay it from overseas, then we must pay 100 or more . can you help us with information please and thanks to you who beleaf in God .

Should I reply? Should I help them get this Prayer Cross thing that may be just the thing that changes their lives?! I mean, c'mon, they live in a place that was once know as the "the capital of Apartheid South Africa!"

The final session of my advanced Writing Is Rewriting course in the David Henry Hwang Writers Institute at East West Players was held at a Japanese restaurant in Little Tokyo, where we ate sushi, reflected on our previous 15 weeks of intense workshopping and instruction, and talked about the culminating New Works Festival of readings that went so so well.

(The accompanying group photo features me, the students, and EWP literary manager Jeff Liu. I'm quite aware that Alison De La Cruz is our only female of the group—but, seriously, we had way more male applicants than female applicants. It was quite unusual. But don't think too hard on it 'cuz—look—that's the Dante Basco on the far left!) (And so they don't feel left out, rounding out the group are Peter Kuo, Joey Damiano, Howard Ho, Aurelio Locsin, and Paul Kikuchi.)

Anyway, during the course, the students were forced—yeah, yeah, forced!—to read a bunch of plays, which we subsequently talked about in-depth. The plays were selected because they are examples of great playwriting (in my not-so-humble opinion, of course), especially for those students who are ready and willing to think deeply about everything that goes into creating a kick-ass piece of theater, and because they gave us lots to talk about on a sociopolitical level too.

So, here's what we studied this year (Season Three of Writing Is Rewriting):

• The Substance of Fire by Jon Robin Baitz

• 99 Histories by Julia Cho

• Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov, adapted by David Mamet

• Spinning into Butter by Rebecca Gilman

• Yellow Face by David Henry Hwang

• Ching Chong Chinaman by Lauren Yee

• Red by Chay Yew (available in a collection called The Hyphenated American)

So, if you're interested in becoming an even better playwright, get these plays, go forth, and learn!

Writing Is Rewriting returns, not in the Fall, not in the Spring, but probably in the Summer of 2011—plenty of time for you to finish a new play and go through the rigorous application process.

By the way, here's a close-up of me and Howard. Who looks more Asian-y? Do I win? Do I win?!

I do believe I'm in the minority here.

Again.

You may have seen this video clip of a guy who has an intense emotional reaction (that is simultaneously uncomfortable and unintentionally funny) to seeing a double rainbow...



...but have you heard the sublime Kermit the Frog mash-up posted by actor James Urbaniak? Listen:



But that's not all! There's also a funky auto-tuned version of the footage. (The tambourine is a nice touch). Listen:



Who knew a double rainbow could be a source of so much artistic inspiration?!

[Thanks to Andy Apuy.]

Remember that groundbreaking Thai-American literary event that I kept yapping about a few weeks ago? Well, it's over and done with, but that doesn't mean you can't experience it the way it was meant to be experienced: on your computer screen in the dark basement of your parents house! (I assume that's where you are.) You are about to see how very talented all these writers are. Here's a breakdown of the Customs & Departures: An Evening with Thai-American Writers video:

• Opening remarks begin at 00:00

• Young-adult novelist/TV writer CHERRY CHEVAPRAVATDUMRONG is introduced at 03:30

• Poet PIMONE TRIPLETT is introduced at 09:35

• Memoirist IRA SUKRUNRUANG is introduced at 24:45

• Playwright/blogger PRINCE GOMOLVILAS is introduced at 41:10

• The writers' post-reading discussion begins at 53:30

• A Q&A with the audience begins at 01:14:10

A written recap of the event can be found here.

Watch:

I might have to take the rest of the week off from blogging (the devastating Levi Johnston news has put me in a state of social paralysis), so I'll leave you with this inspirational exercise video. If a monkey and a dog can do it, so can you! Watch:

I don't know why you're even reading this intro paragraph. I mean, when you see a title like "Dancing Thai Fat Cat," don't you want to immediately click play on the video and watch it over and over again?! Anyway, here you go—a Thai insurance commercial. Watch:

• Is this entire movie series supposed to be a master class in bad acting? If it is, they're three for three!

• Since Bella loves both Edward and Jacob and it tortures her so, why doesn't she just get hitched to both those douchebags and have a group marriage? Every hole need fulfilled!

• I mean, can't Jacob shirtlessly spooning Bella while Edward watches be classified as "bisexual foreplay" already?
  

• While this installment is certainly better than the previous two (a thing or two actually happens), why do I still hate it? Motherfucker glitters in the sun! Shut up. I'm done here.

When the sight of Joan Crawford brandishing a shotgun is the least hilarious part of a movie trailer, then you know you've got a winner. The following ad for Trog (1970) mesmerizes me throughout, but there's a special place in my heart for "this kill-crazy fiend from hell must be destroyed!" Watch:


[TROG (1970) trailer w/ Joan Crawford]

Speaking of sausage, I'll just lift the description for the following video directly from YouTube: "Master sausage-maker Ryan Farr of 4505 Meats has seen too many sausages explode on the grill when eager and hungry cooks throw the meat down on high heat. To avoid such fat-splattering mishaps, he recommends that you poach your sausage first." Thanks, Ryan! Watch:


[CHOW Tip: Exploding Sausage Syndrome]

Yeah, you heard him correctly. He really did say what you thought he said. With a straight face.

[Thanks to missrobot.]

Okay, so this Dick Slang dance has been sweeping the nation for the last couple months , but I'm just getting around to posting about it now. Why do straight guys think that swishing their cocks from side to side—to a good beat—is attractive to the ladies? This is solely a gay magnet. Am I wrong, ladies?! Watch:


[DICK SLANG (SNEAK PEEK)]

[Thanks to The Bilerico Project.]

The reason why my "21 Reasons This Movie Sucks" video has managed to rack up 6,000+ views so far is because a bunch of Asian-American-centric blogs (and a couple whitey-centric ones!) linked to it and showered it with love juices. (Thanks, also, to those folks who did the Facebook, Twitter, and e-mail forward thing.) So here are links to the blogs in question so that you can shoot your love juices right back at them:

Alpha Asian

Angry Asian Man

Angry Zen Master

ARTicles

Bulgoki Journal

Channel APA

Experiment Farm

Frank Chow

Geri Chan

Racebending

Yellow Peril

The days of the traditional piggy bank are over. Why not instead have cute house pets snatch coins from a plate of fish and hide them in a cardboard fruit box?! Pictures and a description of this Japanese innovation can be found here, but you really have to watch the video to get the full effect of this product's awesomeness. Watch:


[[Strapya World Premire] Itazura Coin Bank!!]

I suppose the band 3Oh!3 can best be described as crunk meets electropunk, and I suppose some of the lyrics off the new album, Streets of Gold, are just plain stupid ("I'm gonna have a house party in my house/I’m gonna pour booze down my mouth")—but I can't stop listening to these guys! Who knew that a couple dudes from Colorado could successfully pitch hedonism as a lifestyle?

There are several great tracks on Streets of Gold, but I'm going to share with you "Déjà Vu," a dance floor anthem that funks it up right through the roof. Listen:


[3OH!3 - Deja Vu Free Download + Lyrics]

Here are the lyrics:

Hey, Mr. Bartender
Mix me a drink
I really need something
To tell me it's okay not to think
Because I've been to all these bars
And I've seen all these places
I've hit on all these girls
I've heard the same conversations

Cab driver, cab driver
Take me away
'Cause I already know
All the words that she'll say
And I'll be creepin' out the window
At the first sign of day
'Cause every single night
It seems to go the same way

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

Mr. Bartender
You will kick me out
And the blond girl in the back
You'll put your tongue down my mouth
And the greaser in the jacket's
Gonna pick a fight
And he'll probably kick my ass
'Cause I'm drunk every night

Officer, officer
Tell me the truth
How many times can I
Get in trouble with you
Before they lock me up
For all the bad things that I do?
But you don't
And that's why this feels like déjà vu

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

I did it like this
I did it like that
And it always comes back around
I don't know how
To break this pattern down

I did it like this
I did it like that
And it always comes back somehow
I don't know how
To break this pattern down

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

I think I've been here before
I think I've run into you
I know the things that you do
'Cause this is déjà vu
This is déjà vu
This is déjà vu

After seeing one Lars Von Trier film (Dancer in the Dark), I knew that I never wanted to see another Lars Von Trier film ever again. If a guy came up to me and said that I had choice between watching a Lars Von Trier movie and getting punched in the stomach with a polo mallet, I would choose the mallet. For serious. So it was with great delight that I viewed the following hysterically funny and knowing news clip from The Onion. Watch:


[Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed by Lars Von Trier]

After a character who has dressed up for the evening asks, "How do I look?," Betty White responds, "Like you stepped out of a painting.... Of hookers!" All right, I'm in.

Hot in Cleveland has the same feel and rhythm of some of those square but funny sitcoms of the 80s. That is to say, the show may not be as hip as, say, Arrested Development or The Office, but it's funny enough to be hip to be square. (But is anything this square also this racy?)

The presence of cranky and hilarious Betty White may have attracted record cable ratings, but the show's premise is solid (middle-aged L.A. women discover that they're hot commodities in down-to-earth Cleveland, so they move there) and the three leads who are not Betty White are delightfully top-of-their game comediennes (Valerie Bertinelli, Fraiser's Jane Leeves, and Just Shoot Me!'s Wendie Malick). (But make no mistake—Betty White is the #1 draw here.)

The pilot episode is funny, the second episode is funnier, and the third episode (guest starring Carl Reiner!) is funniest. And a couple of them are available on Hulu and the TV Land site. And, yup, the show is taped live in front of studio audience, which makes bloopers like these so much fun:


Have you seen it? Do you like it? Or is it too old school for you?

The late Shel Silverstein is best known for his books (The Missing Piece is one of my favorites of all time), but he was also a witty songwriter. (Did you expect anything less?) He's the man responsible, after all, for Johnny Cash's rousing, funny, and moving "A Boy Named Sue."

Twistable Turnable Man: A Musical Tribute to Shel Silverstein features the likes of My Morning Jacket, John Prine, and Kris Kristofferson, tackling Silverstein songs with gusto and love.

Perhaps my favorite Silverstein song is "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan." Lucinda Williams performs a beautiful version of this haunting and deeply sad track on this album, but I first heard it achingly sung many years ago by Marianne Faithfull (off the Thelma & Louise soundtrack).

There are a number of other highlights on this tribute album, but perhaps none more memorable than Nanci Griffith's music version of Silverstein's signature book, The Giving Tree.

Anyway, here's Faithfull's rendition of "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan," which isn't on this particular album, but you've got to hear it. Listen:


[THE BALLAD OF LUCY JORDAN - MARIANNE FAITHFULL]

Here are the lyrics:

The morning sun touched lightly on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
In a white suburban bedroom in a white suburban town
As she lay there 'neath the covers dreaming of a thousand lovers
'Til the world turned to orange and the room went spinning round

At the age of thirty-seven she realized she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
Little nursery rhymes she'd memorized in her daddy's easy chair

Her husband, he's off to work and the kids are off to school
And there are, oh, so many ways for her to spend the day
She could clean the house for hours or rearrange the flowers
Or run naked through the shady street screaming all the way

At the age of thirty-seven she realized she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing as she sat there softly singing
Pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorized in her daddy's easy chair

The evening sun touched gently on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
On the rooftop where she climbed when all the laughter grew too loud
And she bowed and curtsied to the man who reached and offered her his hand
And he led her down to the long white car that waited past the crowd

At the age of thirty-seven she knew she'd found forever
As she rode along through Paris with the warm wind in her hair

I had the pleasure of meeting Shel Silverstein in 1990 when both of us had one-act plays being performed on the same bill at Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York. What a warm and jolly old man he was. Wherever he is, I hope he's found his missing piece.

A couple months after the death of Quentin Easter, his longtime partner and co-founder of Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, Stanley Williams, has also passed away. It's another heavy blow to the San Francisco Bay Area theatre community, and I am particularly saddened because of my fond memories of Stanley. Whenever I was around him, we would spend most of our time making each other laugh. He was a leader who, very early in my career, was so impressed by my writing that he wondered out loud why bigger institutions hadn't snapped me up and taken me under their wing. He felt privileged to be working with me (read about my relationship to the LHT here)—but, honestly, the privilege was mine.

Read about Stanley Williams in the San Francisco Chronicle.

Louise on the Left sent me the following video a few weeks ago. It features a tiny kitten wearing a tiny top hat "auditioning for a commercial" and eventually getting bitch-slapped by a much-larger cat. I wasn't sure if this was funny or mean...


[Kitten Wearing a Tiny Hat - Audition Outtakes]

...so I didn't post it.

But then the makers of that video, Lake Street Creamery in Los Angeles, revealed the final product—a viral ad that manages to be damn cute and an excellent branding tool for this mobile ice cream shop that I now want to visit. Watch:


[Kitten Wearing a Tiny Hat Eats a Tiny Ice-Cream Cone]

A blogger more ambitious than I wrote to Lake Street Creamery to get the inside scoop (get it?! get it?! scoop?!) on these videos. Says the business owners:

Well the campaign was a complete fluke really. It all managed to coincide with the launch of our truck. We were filming Scout Jr in a hat because basically we’re fools for our cats– then Speedo (male cat not related to kittens) jumped on our little set and voilà the “slap heard across the world”. It surprised us! Sad but hilarious we posted it on YouTube mainly to show our friends. It went viral FAST! So we jumped on the traffic and quickly made a cute ice cream commercial.. Yes to promote us but also to show Scout Jr was A-Ok.

It’s created a lot of buzz and attention from people all over the world. Very surreal. It’s hard to tell the impact yet since we literally just launched our business 2 days ago– but we are getting a HUGE Twitter following fast and many inquiries for special events for The Lake Street Creamery truck. I hope it will help us launch a successful business and allow us to be creative with the Youtube channel as both Tim and I are artists and entertaining via music, film, art and design is our first love.

Visit the Lake Street Creamy website.

For the past couple of years, I have smugly declared that "Twitter is for douchebags." And even after you, dear readers, attempted to explain the efficacy of medium, I still managed to avoid posting on Twitter for the longest time.

But after a long talk over Alhambra diner food with @PeterJKuo, who handles social media for a living, I decided that sometimes you do just have to be douchebag for the good of your career and public persona.

Anyway, my Twitter account isn't going to replace my blog or anything crazy like that, but I am going to let it function as a separate entity with little overlap. I figure my Twitter page can act sort of the way my LiveJournal used to act—as a peek into my day-to-day activities and too-banal-to-blog observations. It can supplement what you read here on Bamboo Nation.

Twitter is proving to be a fun playground though. Shortly after I tweeted something that used the word "vagina" in a sentence, some people actually unfollowed me! Jesus Christ, are people that easily offended on Twitter? In the future, should I refer to it as a "cornhole"?! Or "pie trap"?! Or "dirty cavern"?! What?!

If the word "vagina" doesn't horrify you, follow me here.

After a seemingly long musical drought in my life, the past several weeks have finally showered me with new music that I really dig—so I thought I'd blog this week about recent albums that are in heavy rotation on my computer and in my car. Maybe you'll be inspired to set aside the Bjork scream singles and try something new.

The Gaslight Anthem's solid American Slang is New Jersey punk infused with heartland rock 'n' roll. There's not a single loser in the album's ten songs, but it's the title track that really kicks ass. It makes me want to mosh even though, as you know, if I were to ever mosh, I WOULD DIE. But I digress. Listen:


[The Gaslight Anthem [American Slang]]

Here are the lyrics:

Look what you started
I seem to be coming out of my skin
And look what you've forgotten here
The bandages just don't keep me in
And when it was over, I woke up alone
And when it was over, I woke up alone

And they cut me to ribbons and told me to drive
I got your name tattooed inside of my arm
I called for my father, but my father had died
While you told me fortunes in American slang

And look at the damage
The fortunes came for the richer men
While we we're left with gallows
Just waiting for us liars to come down and hang
And when it was over, I woke up alone
And when it was over, I woke up alone

And they cut me to ribbons and told me to drive
I got your name tattooed inside of my arm
I called for my father, but my father had died
While you told me fortunes in American slang

And here's where we died that time last year
And where the angels and devils meet
And you can dance with the queen if you need
And she will always keep your cards close to her heart
Oh so close to her heart before they tear you apart

And they cut me to ribbons and told me to drive
I got your name tattooed inside of my arm
I called for my father, but my father had died
And we called for our fathers, but our fathers had died
And you told us fortunes in American slang
Oh you told us fortunes in American slang

Since my mom sends me spam, like, all the time, I delete most of her e-mails without even reading them. Once in a while, I'll open up one of her forwarded jokes or supposedly hilarious pictures, and I'll inevitably end up rolling my eyes and thinking, "Why did I open that?" Well, she recently sent me a series of photos that I actually found sufficiently amusing. So, courtesy of my mother, here's interesting toilet paper rolls!:





















(You to me: "Why did I look at that?")

I'm not quite sure why, but I'm absolutely mesmerized by this Asian guy demonstrating how to play drums on a Creative Labs electronic keyboard. This really shouldn't be as entertaining as it is, but it is. And this dude could seriously give Best Drummer Ever a run for his money. Watch:


[Creative Labs Keyboard Drum Demonstration]

What is that strange Asian accent he has? It sounds a little Chinese, a little Thai, a little Filipino, a little Vietnamese. Hmmmmm.....

Remember that nifty Old Spice Body Wash commercial that was funny, had terrific special effects, and featured a hunky black man? Well, he's back! And he delivers once again. Watch:



By the way, The Man Your Man Could Smell Like is actor Isaiah Mustafa, a former NFL player who recently inked a talent deal with NBC. Perhaps he's coming to a sitcom near you?

I told my former writing students Leslie Ishii and Karen Samski to rewrite. And so they did. Then I told them to rewrite again. And so they did. And again. And so they did. And again. And so they did. And again. And so they did. (Seriously.)

And now, their sixth or so draft of Painting by Numbers, which is an entertaining Japanese-American adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion, will have a staged reading by an all-star cast this Monday in Los Angeles. I'll be there. You? Here are the deets, yo:

The Road Theatre Company
presents a staged reading of

PAINTING BY NUMBERS

a play by Leslie Ishii and Karen Samski

directed by Michele Spears

featuring Kimiko Gelman, Lisa Fredrickson, Fran Bennett, Karen Lew, Paul Nakauchi, Sab Shimono, Ewan Chung, Greg Watanabe, Lynn Clark, Helen Ota, John DeMita, Blake Kushi, and James Dyer

What chance does the heart and mind have in the struggle between old conventions and inevitable change? You either break free or break down. What will it be for Kit Yamamoto? In Painting By Numbers, we take an Austen-esque turn around the room with the Yamamotos, a 21st century Japanese-American family. The public face is the modern model minority—but behind closed doors, the stereotype of two generations is broken. And it's not what you think.

Monday, July 5, 2010 @ 8:00 p.m.

Lankershim Arts Center
5108 Lankershim Boulevard
North Hollywood, CA 91601

And I think it's free, you cheap bastards!

The following may be a one-joke sketch, but, damn, it's funny. You'll never hear the word "ninja" in quite the same way ever again. Watch:



[Thanks to Angry Asian Man.]