"West Side Story" on Stage: It Will Make You Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Monday, December 27, 2010
Okay. First thing's first. The stage version of West Side Story is a little bit gay. Oh, who am I kidding? It's a whole hell of a lot gay. Like, hot-guys-in-tight-fitting-clothes-dancing-and-singing-and-wrestling-each-other gay.

Aside from that obvious yet delightful observation, I walked away from the touring production of West Side Story at the Pantages Theatre in Los Angeles with a several more notes:

1.) I love the movie as much as you do, but, goddamn, this musical live on stage is a thing of such overwhelming artistic beauty that I found myself frequently overcome with emotion. Not because of the sad parts or anything (people die, remember?), but because the spectacle of the staging (which has been re-created by David Saint from Arthur Laurents's current Broadway version) and the choreography (which has been re-created by Joey McKneely from Jerome Robbins's original dancing) are freaking amazing. My mom was sitting next to me (Merry Christmas, Mother, those tickets were expensive!), so I had to hold back tears for fear of looking like a little bitch.

2.) Seeing West Side Story on stage is such a different experience from watching the film (which I've seen multiple times, including one beautiful print at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco) that I felt like I was experiencing something brand new. Things constantly surprised me. And even the songs I hadn't really dug all these years (c'mon, you don't love every tune from this show) sounded great. It's an obvious point, but songs in musicals really are, after all, meant to be heard in context. Ah, Leonard Bernstein. Ah, Stephen Sondheim. I'm not a musicals-nerd, but I would kiss the ground you walked/walk on.

3.) In true back-to-the-original form, most of the scenes which feature members of the Puerto Rican Sharks clan are spoken almost entirely in Spanish. Also, roughly half of "America," "I Feel Pretty," and "A Boy Like That" feature Spanish lyrics, which sounds way cool and way authentic. But, hey!, unfortunately, honoring the source means that the line I sing to myself repeatedly in the mirror—"I feel pretty and witty and gay!"—has been changed back to the boring old "I feel pretty and witty and bright."

4.) This production—which runs in Los Angeles and New York until January 2, 2010, and then tours the rest of the country—is also sexy, sexy, sexy, whether you like the mens or the womens, 'cause the dancing is hot. And when the ridiculously muscly guy playing Tony (Kyle Harris on the tour) appears in a wife-beater and the girl playing Maria (Ali Ewoldt) succumbs to his charms in her virginal white nighty, I could hear the audience release a collective gasp. And I made a mental note to cyber-stalk after the show.

...Miss this at your own peril, people!

For more information about West Side Story on Broadway and on tour, go to the official website.
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"We're Here to Save the Day" by The Constellations featuring Asher Roth

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I think The Constellations are a bunch of hippies. Don't hold that against them. They did a song with frat rapper Asher Roth—and I never heard a frat rap I didn't like. And there's a children's chorus backing them up. Yup, a hippie rock frat rap kid's chorus song. Listen:



Lyrics:

We're the stars
That shine so bright
We bling in cars
And rhyme so hard
The superstars
We're not afraid to say
We're here to save the day
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

We'll take no prisoners
This is a war of the mind
And we're coming for your sons and daughters
It's our time to shine
Take your radio and throw it down
Shattered on the floor
There's nothing else I need to hear
And I just can't ignore
Your candy coated, bloated ego
Platinum pile of shit
With nothing in your arsenal
Pulled punches count as hits
But I've been waiting so long
For a song with just one change
You're verses strike a sounding chorus
You are all the same

We're the stars
That shine so bright
We bling in cars
And rhyme so hard
The superstars
We're not afraid to say
We're here to save the day
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

The diamonds on your necklace
Are an elaborate choke chain
You're a dog tied to a leash
You're a slave to your wage
You sold your soul for something
You never will obtain
Every syllable you speak is weak
You have nothing to say
So save the folks some time and money
Stick to what you know
Stroke your ego on your own
And let me clear my throat
The sky is full of shining stars
Along the Milky Way
A living, breathing constellation
Here to save the day

We're the stars
That shine so bright
We bling in cars
And rhyme so hard
The superstars
We're not afraid to say
We're here to save the day
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Put it, put it, put it, put it on the shelf
Don’t touch that
Like a high soul
But you know it's just Ash
Go with the flow
You know I bust raps
No, not a bullet
This is more a musket
American Revolution
With the music
And what we do here
Isn't so a movement
The earth is moving
And we're consumers
So what we do is
We consume earth
Gimme, gimme, gimme 'cause they're so absorbed
'Til our world just passes by
(Bye, bye)
The constellations that ya'll ignored
Have the whole time been sittin' in the sky
(Wait, where?)
By the time we align and combine ourselves
To form guides and try to help
(Save me!)
And it is I who will tighten up Orion's Belt
So ya'll can decide yourself
(That's Roth, ya'll)

We're the stars
That shine so bright
We bling in cars
And rhyme so hard
The superstars
We're not afraid to say
We're here to save the day
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
"We're Here to Save the Day" by The Constellations featuring Asher RothSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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"Pale Blue Eyes" by The Velvet Underground

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Velvet Underground is way too hip a band for me to listen to (I've spent an embarrassing amount of time deconstructing NKOTB lyrics), but I can't get "Pale Blue Eyes" out of my head. It's all Adventureland's fault. Listen:



Lyrics:

Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby, you just make me mad
Linger on your pale blue eyes
Linger on your pale blue eyes

Thought of you as my mountain top
Thought of you as my peak
Thought of you as everything
I've had but couldn't keep
I've had but couldn't keep
Linger on your pale blue eyes
Linger on your pale blue eyes

If I could make the world as pure and strange as what I see
I'd put you in the mirror
I put in front of me
I put in front of me
Linger on your pale blue eyes
Linger on your pale blue eyes

Skip a life completely
Stuff it in a cup
She said, "Money is like us in time
It lies, but can't stand up
Down for you is up"
Linger on your pale blue eyes
Linger on your pale blue eyes

It was good what we did yesterday
And I'd do it once again
The fact that you are married
Only proves you're my best friend
But it's truly, truly a sin
Linger on your pale blue eyes
Linger on your pale blue eyes
"Pale Blue Eyes" by The Velvet UndergroundSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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Thunder Mountain Is Scarier at Night...and Other Disneyland Observations

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Wednesday, December 15, 2010
One of the luxuries of having a friend who works at Disneyland is that sometimes you get invited to the park's special holiday celebration exclusively for employees and their friends and family. Yup, boorish Midwesterners (and no-adjective-necessary Romanians) get kicked out of park at 6PM to make way for Brent and me. Here, then, are some conversations I had with Brent on Monday.

On Thunder Mountain

PRINCE: Aaaaahhhhh!

BRENT: Ha ha ha ha ha!

PRINCE: Aaaaahhhhh!

GIRL IN FRONT OF PRINCE: (Turns around to glare at Prince.)

PRINCE (in her face): Aaaaahhhhh!

After Thunder Mountain:

BRENT: That girl didn't like you.

PRINCE: WhatEVER.... I don't remember Thunder Mountain ever being that scary or being that long.

BRENT: They say it's scarier at night.

PRINCE: That was the best Thunder Mountain ever! (Thinking about the glaring girl.) Aaaaahhhhh!

After It's a Small World

PRINCE: That was like a drug-induced nightmare.

BRENT: I bet you wanted to be on drugs while riding that.

PRINCE: I didn't have to. You know how people on diets have "meal replacements?" That ride was like a drug replacement.

Before the Indiana Jones Ride

PRINCE: I've never been on this ride before. I'm excited.

BRENT: Yes, you have. We went last time.

PRINCE: No, we didn't. I don't recognize any of this.

BRENT: Yes, we did! Remember the Jeep?

PRINCE: No.

BRENT: Remember the boulder?

PRINCE: No.

After the Indiana Jones Ride:

PRINCE: Okay, so I have been on that ride before.

BRENT: See?

PRINCE: And I know why I didn't remember it.

BRENT: ?

PRINCE: Because it sucks!

At the Cafe Before Leaving the Park:

PRINCE: I wish I were hungry because I would get a croissant. Why are croissants so good? Why do sandwiches taste better when they're on croissants?

CLERK: What can I get for you?

BRENT: I'll have a—

PRINCE: A croissant!

(Moments later....)

PRINCE: Nom nom nom nom.
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"Put It Out of Your Mind" by Jesse Harris

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Tuesday, December 14, 2010
So there's that one Norah Jones song that I like (you know the one), probably because back in the early 2000s I couldn't walk into a store anywhere without that song smacking me in the face and begging me to love it, like a Danza Slap on Pride Weekend. The Grammy-winning tune was written by Jesse Harris, who's also a performer, and I can't stop listening to the lead track from his latest album, Through the Night, even though it hasn't gotten much airplay. It's a jazzy-poppy confection titled"Put It Out of Your Mind," and this time I'm asking for the Danza Slap. Listen:



Lyrics:

There's a love that I remember
Died just like a burning ember
In a fire with logs all broken
Had you had your eyes wide open

None of this would seem unkind
Don't you think about it
Put it out of your mind

None of this was on the line
Don't you think about it
Put it out of your mind

There's no time anymore
Like there was before

Did you think I'd beg forever?
All you ever said was never
Now your voice is filled with sorrow
Saying can I see you tomorrow

None of this was your design
Don't you think about it
Put it out of your mind
Put it our of your mind
"Put It Out of Your Mind" by Jesse HarrisSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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My Mom Doesn't Like English Movies

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Monday, December 13, 2010
MOM: I don't like English movies.

PRINCE: What do you mean?

MOM: Movies from England.

PRINCE: Why not?

MOM: They're so dark.

PRINCE: "Dark?"

MOM: Yeah. The lights aren't bright enough. And it looks like everybody's walking around in the dark.

PRINCE: That's not true.

MOM: When I flip through the channels, I can always tell if it's an English movie. If everything is dark and I can't see anything that's going on, then I know it's from England. I don't like English movies.

(I would've argued with her further, but what if Mike Leigh's Naked was playing on TV that night?)

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