The Celebrity Apprentice is the only show I watch as it airs, instead of recording it on my DVR and watching it later while doing something else at the same time, like, you know, lifting my eight-pound weights during a vigorous home workout session.
Well, this season, which has brought me so much unbridled joy, had wrapped, and I am seriously going through withdrawals. I know some people boycotted this season because Donald Trump went politically bonkers, but the show has never been about him. It's about genuine rock stars like Meat Loaf (who, incidentally, goes by "Meat") unleashing an explosion of anger and expletives at the genuinely crazy Gary Busey, in a segment that will surely go down in Apprentice history as the greatest (and, by the way, most unwarranted) freakout ever. Not since Melissa Rivers's "whore pit vipers" meltdown have we be treated to such entertainment. Watch:
To cope with The Celebrity Apprentice's absence, I am currently listening to Meat Loaf albums obsessively (Bat out of Hell II: Back into Hell is epic, indulgent, rocking-good fun—all hail, songwriter Jim Steinman!), and I've got country singer John Rich and crunk king Lil' Jon's albums waiting in the wings.
Please, NBC, please please please bring The Celebrity Apprentice back!
(An additional, unexpected benefit of the series? The always funny, sometimes sublime Entertainment Weekly recaps of each episode written by Dalton Ross. Dalton Ross, I love you! No. I love you. No. What I mean is, I looooove you!)