One was great; two was good; three was bad; and this one sucked.

Look, it doesn't take a lot for me to like a movie that I see in 3-D—just throw shit at me, and I'll have fun. For example, My Bloody Valentine 3D was kind of lame, but I had a blast; and Journey to the Center of Earth 3D was also kind of lame, but I was wowed. (Read "Journey to the Center of My Lust for Brendan Fraser.")

The Final DUH-stination in 3-DUH is kind of lame too, but that third dimension did nothing to get me from soft to hard. Stroke faster next time, people!