Questions, Questions

  • Is this entire movie series supposed to be a master class in bad acting? If it is, they're three for three!
  • Since Bella loves both Edward and Jacob and it tortures her so, why doesn't she just get hitched to both those douchebags and have a group marriage? Every hole need fulfilled!
  • I mean, can't Jacob shirtlessly spooning Bella while Edward watches be classified as "bisexual foreplay" already?
  • While this installment is certainly better than the previous two (a thing or two actually happens), why do I still hate it? Motherfucker glitters in the sun! Shut up. I'm done here.


  1. Never has such a big tentpole summer blockbuster movie series appealed to so few people.

  2. Hee, hee, you said "tentpole."

  3. And riddle me this: Why the fuck are all the girls and girlie boys getting all moist in their nether regions over Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner?!!!

    Pattinson looks like he has Down's Syndrome! Seriously! Look at how far apart his eyes are! And not even a nice body to fall back on.

    Lautner is a butter face. Great body, butter face. Looks like the kid got a wasp sting to the nose and the swelling won't go down. Actually, I'm almost afraid of what might be under all the swelling! He does have the body to fall back on, but I can't overlook the swollen face. I just want to get him to the hospital for an injection of epinephrine before he goes into anaphylactic shock! It's freaky!

  4. And yet... you paid to go see it.

  5. For bad acting, I will see your "Eclipse" with Bristol Palin!

  6. Sterling7/17/2010

    They have a very simple procedure to fix that nose- the brown paper bag approach.

  7. Alan, my mama wanted to go. Did you want me to DENY her?!

    Ewan, that is horrifying.

    Oh, Sterling, you so baaaaad too!