A few weeks ago at a dinner party at my apartment, these MySpace pages were a focal point for the evening's entertainment. Diablo Cody (who is now doing startlingly in-depth reviews of gum) was shocked at how easy it was to find out intimate details about these hot actor/models and was perhaps a little titillated, because she wanted to tag along with me when I was assigned with renting a DVD to keep us occupied for the rest of the night. I gave her and Donovan a stern warning: "If you wanna come along, you can't say anything about how I found their MySpaces or I can never come back to this Blockbuster ever again!"
None of the hot actor/models were working that night, and Diablo looked honestly crushed. She had been excited about meeting the men behind the MySpace myth. So she couldn't help but launch into an impromptu conversation with two of the employees working there, a situation that made me feel sick to my stomach and morbidly fascinated at the same time. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
DIABLO: Where are those cute guys who work here?!
EMPLOYEE #1: Which guys?
DIABLO: The cute ones! There's a cute blond one and one with short brown hair. I saw their MySpace pages!
EMPLOYEE #2: Oh, you mean Adam and Carl? Adam got transferred to another store.
DIABLO: What about Carl? He's the blond one right?
EMPLOYEE #1: He's still here, but not working tonight.
DIABLO: I loved Carl's MySpace page! He is so cute! Do you think he would date someone who's not a ten? Or would he at least date an Iowa ten?
EMPLOYEE #1: Well, he just broke up with his girlfriend, so he would think that anything is a ten right now.
DIABLO: Oh really?! He's looking?! When does he work next?!
EMPLOYEE #2: Tomorrow. Five until closing.
DIABLO: Oh my god. I'm so excited. Thank you.
EMPLOYEE #1: And what is your name?
(PRINCE shoots DIABLO an icy glare, as if to say, "If they get your name, they can easily look you up online and trace it back to me. Don't do it, hooker, don't do it.")
DIABLO: Uh...um...see you later.
She did not return the next day, much to my relief, but she keeps threatening to do it. The future of my relationship to my local video store lies in her impulsive hands.
[Update 06.23.08: Read "A Place Where Nobody Dared to Go: The Playboy Mansion, Diablo Cody, and Me."]
[Update 01.13.09: Read "I Was at the United States of Tara Premiere and Ate Grilled Cheese Sandwiches."]